Reflecting On 2021 and Setting Intentions For 2022
There's something about the new year that is really exciting. I am a big fan of reflecting on the past and using that reflection to set goals and intentions for the next year cycle.
First thing first, we have to reflect on the year. In many ways, for most people 2021 was another year of chaos, loss and just over all weirdness. For me it felt like digesting the collective trauma we all faced in 2020 and in a way healing that, and really facing some final bosses in my own healing journey.
When it came to business for me, I really struggled. It's kinda hard to set goals and have an idea of what direction to go in when you dont really know who you are anymore. Which led me to decide to take the first quarter off of 2022 to just work a job, rest my brain and maybe pivot to different mediums to explore and expand into.
In my personal/mental life, 2021 was a kick to the nuts. I was depressed for most of the year. I'm sure some of you can relate, but nothing I planned or tried to do would work right, and it was really discouraging. I know life ebbs and flows and things don't always work out the way you want them to, it just felt like 2021 overall was like meeting these huge walls that where impossible to get around. Forcing me to look at my relationship with control, security, lack, gratitude and so much more.
I realized that security is really only a concept. We as a collective society love our security. Our fancy grocery stores with food stocked, separated and removed from the earth that provided it, our consistent jobs with that bi weekly paycheck, the idea that a shot will take away a global pandemic, so that our lives can return to normal. My eyes were really opened to the level that humans will go to protect their idea of security. And at the end of the day, it can all be taken away in an instant. A business that seems like its doing will can go under and you're suddenly out of that secure job. A natural disaster can sweep through and your home could be destroyed in minutes.
Another area that i've been forced to look inward to is control. I think a lot of us are really trying to control the outcomes of our lives and those around us. The beautiful thing about this world is that there are billions of people and animals and plants living on it, all with their own unique perspectives and consciousnesses. We are all experiencing reality from our own unique perspective and without your perspective, the world wouldn't be whole. Every perspective is valid, and with it comes an entire, complex, reality based off of lived experiences and programming from childhood. It comes with no surprise when I say, the world is very divided. Left vs. Right, Him vs. Her, Black vs. White. There are two sides to every coin, every person, every energy, everything. And we can live in that dualistic nature, fighting against the other side of ourselves, in a constant tension to control and convince that other side that we are in fact correct and here is why, but that never really works. It never really solves any problems.
I realized at the end of last year that if I am constantly trying to control other peoples perspectives of me, I will never really have the opportunity to live my life in the way I want to. If I am fighting with the dark side of myself, or the person who has different political beliefs as me, or whatever it is you want to fight about, I am trying to control something I have no true control over. My dark side is still going to be there even if I try to fight against it and make however its manifesting stop. That control is another way we have a closed hand to the universe. I know whats best and I know the best way to do it is a very western mentality, and if you want to manifest the life of your dreams, you can't control the way it comes in or how it manifests.
With all of that in mind I am setting intentions for 2022. I was sitting at my mom's kitchen table after Christmas doing a brain dump of all of the things I would like to do this year, and the overall themes and intentions that I have for the next 365 days. My mom came in and called me weird (with love) because a lot of people just don't sit down and do goal setting for their years. I mean truly to each their own, some people are overwhelmed by planning, but for me it's how I put my intention into action.
I sit down every year and intuitively feel out what I would like to work on and towards in the year to come. Theres always some aspect of mind, body and spirit. After the last two years, I'm not writing very many super specific goals a year out. I plan on reassessing every quarter to see where I am and go from there.
I did come up with some rock solid themes though. The first being discipline. Discipline is something that I have never really taken seriously. I like the more ebb and flow of doing what feels right in the moment, and dont get me wrong I still very much value that, but sometimes my brain is lazy and doesnt want to take care of my body, and I realize that if I dont take the time to do the bare minimum of self care every day, It will eventually lead to a depressive episode. I made a list of things that I can do every day to take care of my mind, body and spirit, and at a minimum I have to choose one thing from each list to do for myself each day. I have to fill my own cup first before I can fill a second cup that I use to share the love with those around me.
I've never really taken care of myself. I get in a mood and start to eat poorly, and then its a whole cycle where I stop exercising, stop cleaning up my house, stop taking care of my hygiene and the next thing I know i'm depressed. So I am hoping that by doing this and being disciplined, I will be able to prevent more depressive episodes in 2022.
The second intention I have for myself is to play. To explore, to have fun. Basically the gist of this is to allow myself the childhood I wasnt allowed to have when I was an actual child. Reparenting myself the way I needed to be parented all along. Allowing room for fun and play and light hearted jokes and exploration of the world around me. Unconditional love for being just exactly who I am, and setting limits and being disciplined, because we all know that one kid who's parents dont set limits and it's pretty chaotic. I'm hoping this helps to bring my creativity back and hopefully new ideas come from this. But no pressure either way.
The last theme is spiritual becoming. I don't really know what this looks like or what this fully means but when I was sitting down with this, these words kept coming to mind. It feels like no longer holding back in the presence of those who see the world differently than me. I have recently been deconstructing christianity from my life and that has been the 1000 lb weight i've been carrying around and didn't know it. My family is loosely christian, going to episcopal church every once in a while, but I have never been a believer and in America where the church is woven into the law making process I never really understood the impact of Christian Fundamentalism on my life and society as a whole until I started watching a youtube called Fundie Fridays.
I could really go on and on and on about my opinion on the contemporary western church but really it would serve no purpose here. I respect all beliefs until they limit my freedom and that's where I have a problem.
When it comes to my own spiritual becoming it feels like stepping into mediumship. I have always really resonated with the idea of being a bridge for the spirit world and the human world. I have been connected to the other side for a lot longer than I ever knew, I just thought it was my imagination and that the imagination is some fake thing that doesnt really exist. Well the more i learn and explore the spirit world through my own perspective the more I realize that the imagination is actually a place in the spirit world where multidimensional beings can leave messages, and where manifestation takes place. I am interested in walking a witches path. One in connection to the earth and the life force energy that runs through the entire earth grid. I want to be a part of the movement that gives the power back to the witches. Where we heal the earth and bring a better awareness of what it means to truly live in unity.
Over all these are the themes i'm working with at the moment. I'm sure more will pop up as the year goes, but with an open hand the situations will land in my palm and I will explore them as they come to me.
I end this with a hope that you get the chance to sit down with yourself and set some intentions and themes for your life. You have the power to create wonderful things for your life and it all begins with an intention. What do you want to bring into your life this year? What do you want to get rid of in your life this year? How can you be kinder to yourself and others? How can you bring in more contentment and sufficiency?
I hope you have a lovely and restful beginning of your year and I hope you're all being kind to yourself.
Talk to you on the next one,